First world problems.
I had a dream.
No really, last night I had a dream that I actually remember.
This is a seemingly rare occurrence for me.
Annoying thing is that I wish I didn’t remember it.
It was one of “those” dreams. A naughty, hot, naked kind of a dream that involved a boy.
So what is the problem? You may ask. I guess that depends on the boy, right?
Ryan Gosling? The cast of Vikings? Husband/Boyfriend or any number of ex-boyfriends?
These are fair game.
The boss? Um. Is, maybe, NOT.
So why is this a problem? You ask again.
Well, whilst it does make going to work much more interesting. It can also be seriously distracting – because if you are Scarlett and need to write about filth all day, then you tend to get the idea that you must act on this impulse and impulse control has never been a real strong point.
You also start to behave differently. You start to care about presenting yourself as a sex kitten in an open plan office environment, which is the latest unfortunate trend, and in that “shared space” you are pouting all day, re-applying lipstick and tilting your hips in a truly inappropriate yet totally unconscious way. You also change your shoes whenever you know you have to walk past “that” corner office – and that’s just predator creepy.
-
Thinking dirty thoughts at work
The women around you are confused because they feel the change of energy you are suddenly emitting, The boys on the other hand notice nothing, because they are men and they have been thinking about shagging you long before you ever had “the dream”.
This is problematic since you really tried to keep the private life and work separate.
Oh well, you could have actually foreseen this.
I did.
Boss has been running around wearing vests, slim fit Hugo Boss suits and has the hottest geek chic glasses you have ever seen. Actually, just the other day you were thinking, “he could do anything to me whilst wearing those glasses”.
The pictures from the dream however make it so much worse. It puts a new layer onto the whole situation whereby you visualize “the possible”, very hot, truly tempting scenario.
As any good motivational speaker will tell you, if you can visualize it, you can do it!
That you should NOT, under any circumstances, do it just because you can is secondary.
So there you are talking about holidays over lunch.
All you can think about is that over water spa hotel on the Maldives. Lying naked in the sun, hot boss (plus his glasses) rubbing coconut smelling lotion on your bronzed naked body all day and having hot nasty sex all night (possibly during the day also, why set limits?).
Then, predictably, you blush uncontrollably and wonder, how long until you say something totally fucking stupid.
Because you know, the day will come when you do.
Current Status: Dreading all future corporate drinks.
Because I’ve done it before (dirty girl) and history has a tendency to repeat itself.
Have you ever dreamt about shagging your boss? Let’s hear it!