I can only come when I’m on top. I can only come when we do it doggy style; in reverse cowboy; when I play with myself; alone.
Why is the female orgasm so damn complicated? Men stand up sit down turn around upside down, and still come and shoot their ejaculation all over your face body and wherever else you are willing to receive it. I want that. I got that.
Ladies, I’m a squirter. No, more accurately I am a gusher. I can flood the room on demand and just like the energizer bunny keep going and going and going. The first time it just happened. I was talking to my friend on the phone about how delicious my last foreplay session was with my boy toy of the moment. It was so good that I started getting really excited and then, I squirted. I screamed because I didn’t know what it was. I was giddy because I knew it was something special.
Years later I was in bed with my boyfriend having sex with him for the first time. The sex was ok, but I’m a trooper so you know me I take my pleasure into my own hands. I started touching myself, determined to get off. Do you know what happened? This man looked at me and asked “why are you doing that?” Somebody shoot me. What the hell?! Now I have to explain to a grown man why I want to come?! Get outta here. Or better yet gtfoh.
That was the first time I realized that men want women to come, but only when they directly cause that explosion. You think for a second that you are going to do it yourself and I’ll show you a grown man turn to a little boy and start to sulk frown and complain. You can feel the mood in the room shift as if you committed a violation again his little ego. Owell, sorry not sorry.
Then it happened again. The coming and the frowning. But this time it was epic. I was with my other new boyfriend. The sex was hot. He was a real pleaser, doing things to me that I had never experienced or even believed were real. He took my pleasure very seriously and I loved it. But still, I would come close, but not actually truly release in a way that matched the buildup. Until one day after returning from the beach, we got into it heatedly. After we did the nasty I decided to stay in bed and go for broke. I told him my plan to keep stroking myself. He loved it. Yeah, go for it baby. Did I ever go for it. I tried to stimulate my clit but that did not work. I guess she was tired. So I left her alone and tried something else. I could feel the sexual buildup haunting my body, like a welled-up river just sitting there that no one knew quite how to get to. So I kept looking. Then I found it. I exploded everywhere. I screamed again, but this time it was the scream heard around the world. I called boyfriend over and put his hand between my legs so he could feel the river which had flooded over. He was shocked and excited. I was high off sex and laughing like a manic.
We went for another round, but this time I was a special forces navy seal with deep experience and laser focus. I knew what to do to get the fuck off. So after we pleasured each other, I went for it. My orgasm hit and I erupted like a volcano and flooded the place. And I kept going and going and going. The bed was soaked he was soaked, everything was drenched. I felt like a goddess. A sex beast who could not be stopped, who would never again be denied. And he? Well, when it happened with him in a different room it was cool. But when I did it with him in the bed, after he had already pulled out of me, that was a different story. He sulked. Boy did he sulk!
“You mad?”, I asked
“No” he replied.
“So why you look like that?”
“I want to be the one to make you come.”
“Uh, you kind of were the one who created the buildup, I just executed the release. Kind of like you do all the time after we fuck and you pull out then stroke your dick for another five minutes. Same thing dude.”
Men have orgasm envy. They can’t handle the pussy power to blow and shut down life itself. So I said, “Owell, sorry not sorry.” Whatever happened to dude? He got on board and learned to love it. Like I said, he was a pleaser so he figured out how to get more involved and we started shooting together. Good boy.
After that relationship and my world changing discovery I never looked back, and I never will. Ladies trust me, some men cannot handle it when we learn how to give ourselves the ultimate sexual release, they take it personally. Fuck that! Long gone are the days of us being ridden like amusement park rides, all with one goal: Make the man orgasm, then sex is over. No baby, nooo. Sex is over when we ejaculate. And then again, and then again. Because we can do that, we can keep on coming. I tell you, I only stop because I get tired and the bed becomes a swimming pool, but trust and believe the girl has it in her to orgasm and ejaculate indefinitely. We will never apologize for our divine sexual abilities no matter how much they frown. And men, this is glorious, and if you are the lucky man who gets to be in the room for this magical event get on your knees and thank your higher power because it’s a really good guess that you had something to do with creating the buildup, and at the very least, you didn’t turn her off enough for her to not be able to orgasm. You’re welcome.