The Anti-Wife – Bad Girl On Purpose

Apparently there are two types of women: Wife and others. The term “wife” seems to describe the good girl, the one you marry because she will likely be amenable to domesticity. That is, she will cook, take care of your home, bear and rear your children, perhaps even earn a buck or two for the family pot. She will be your ever-faithful, holding down the fort while her man slays dragons in the streets, goes to work or whatever men do while their wives are at home.

Along with the title and the requisite disposition of the wife, also come certain traits including care and concern for her man’s health and general well-being, prioritizing everyone’s needs above her own, modesty, and of course nagging. That’s what they say anyway.

Excuse me while I throw up a little bit. You probably know by now that I am blessed with a high level of cynicism, so whatever “they” say is at best a joke to me. I’ve been observing wives ever since I was a little girl, on television and in reality. I saw my mom do a lot of the above, including the daily cooking and care taking. Even back then it appeared to me to be too much work, and she herself would daily say “this is too much for one person”. I wasn’t raised on Joan Cleaver, but I heard that she was the poster girl of the above-described wife, dutifully doing it all for her family and not caring to make a splash of her own. My TV wife was Clair Huxtable. Yes! Lawyer, strong, respect-demanding, gorgeous, never frump-a-dump, queen. So I thought, maybe I could do it more like that?

There is a third type of woman. The Anti-wife. She doesn’t cook. She hires a housekeeper to take care of the home. She may or may not have children, and if she does she will put in the time to set them on the right track, but she will strive to get back to her life as soon as possible. And she makes her own money. Never frump-a-dump, she puts herself first, and her name is not mama.

The Anti-wife cares for her man, but not in that all-consuming chase him down all day to make sure he takes his vitamins and doesn’t over-drink kind of way. Quite the opposite, she lets him know that it’s his choice to stay healthy or not, and he should do what makes him feel happy. She encourages him to have fun and enjoy life, and is his best drinking and city-stomping partner. The other details are his deal. The domesticity, someone else’s deal.

Her gift lies in her ability to motivate and inspire her man. She energizes him and plays a massive role in his success with her consultation and her beautiful brain. She makes him crazy, like a drug to which he is addicted. On the one hand he knows she could be the end of him, on the other hand he can’t imagine being without her crazy ass and actually wants her to be the end of him. The Anti-wife is a bad girl, on purpose. Whatever the masses deem to be bad that year or decade, that’s her. She is ruled by the pleasure principle and will never forsake it. She is building her story all the way to 80 years old, at which time she will drink expensive red wine and tell her raunchy stories to crowds of captivated young ones. Sorry not sorry. What happens when the Anti-wife gets married?

She did. I’m seeing it more and more where women have stopped buying into the bs wife package of domestic hell and all-encompassing self-deprivation. They are not striving to be good girls, not putting everyone’s needs above their own, and not starving themselves of pleasure. They want to be “bad girls”, and boldly dare the masses to say something about it.

The Anti-wife is a bad-ass. She regularly designs and redesigns a loud and colorful life for herself and puts all of her energies into living it exactly as envisioned. She is not here to serve or to follow, cook or clean, and certainly not here to nag people to take care of themselves. She balks at the thought. She has a goal to erase the old-fashioned image of wife as good girl and martyr, and replace it with something much closer to reality, or if you prefer, the changed times. From now on the term “wife” should conjure up the image of a boss, a woman who inspires a man, lives boldly, and does what the heck she wants. The masses will get on board.


Author: Vic

The eternal sisterhood warrior, Vic motivates women all over the world to stand up and roar. She's Editor-in-Chief at Hold My Lipstick where she gives the authors and the crazies as much rope as they need to swing far off the edge...she knows they always make it back home intact.