Recently I was talking to a friend on the phone and we were trading stories of our latest antics. As men are our sport, of course that is what we were talking about. I asked her what was happening on the man scene and her answer startled me. It was, verbatim, “I don’t know, I’m wondering if I really want to be in a relationship, or if for now I just wanna be a ho.” And there it was. She actually voiced this out loud, the idea that she was thinking about being a ho.
Did you guys know about this? This line of deliberation in the single ladies’ world? What ever happened to wondering whether to stay with the dude or to leave him? Or maybe spend some time alone learning how to love yourself? Pahaaa! Please, those days are long gone. Today, we decide for ourselves what will make us happy, us as in our bodies minds and souls. Good sex! And we want it.
My friend had recently met a guy and after a few dates in the streets and between the sheets, she decided that he was just not what she wanted to commit to. She was just not that into him. Booyaw. Yeah, we feel that way too, all the time. But she did like the way he slayed that pussycat. In the sheets she was very much into him. So she told him, “look, let’s just do what we do best and keep fucking”. Well alright.
I was so excited by the conversation that I felt like my skin was on fire. Imagine how this level of honesty could change lives, if women started talking about true sexual liberation, which has nothing to do with comparing our feelings and behaviors to those of men, but instead focuses purely on us and what feels good. We love your dick! But we don’t have time for you everyday, so ahh, yeah…see you tonight?
Our sister Issa Rae also covered this topic in her HBO Series, Insecure. Love this show! After she and her boyfriend broke up because she was being a ho and sexing some other dude, she went through a grieving period and finally decided there was no good man around for her. So she did what girls do in that situation, she decided it was time to be a ho! Yaaassss! She proceeded to hunt down good Mr. Longjohns and get her freak on. Whew! I feel relief just thinking about it.
Girls don’t despair, and please do not be confused. Sometimes we meet winners and have a great time doing the girlfriend thing. Sometimes we meet losers and have to take a hard pass. But for those times right in the middle, where he is not good enough to bother with the whole relationship thing, well, darlings, those are what we call, ho times, and you might just have to go do that. We stand with you sister!