Blac Chyna is what every Rob Kardashian Deserves

What in Kardashian’s name is really going on? Baby Rob crawled out from some corner of the mansion and dragged in this blac chyna doll with him. Correction, he dragged her off the stripper pole allegedly, and brought her home to his mama. Ok. So that is when our well-manicured eyebrows started creeping upwards. Then boom boom boom he proposed to her, the chick is pregnant, Blac Chyna and Rob have a reality show and our eyebrows jumped off of our faces and ran away. It was just too much.

Who is Blac Chyna?

We don’t know. Any image you find of her on the internet will lead to one or two conclusions as to her professional credentials. Some sites say former stripper, nowadays many sites say sex for hire. Oh, and then there is this popular but clearly bs site saying model. Yeah, riiight. Whatever she is or was, she clearly had retirement in mind, or at least working fewer hours, when Rob picked her up and dragged her home. And how could we forget, the slut walks with Amber Rose.

So here is where the plot thickens and leaves us hella confused. Chyna has an 8 month old baby. When my baby was 8 months old I was limping around the house deep in the frump-a-dump trenches, staying up all night to a screaming baby who was just getting used to sleeping in his own room. My social life consisted of going to the supermarket. That’s it. Any excuse I could find I would go, because I could wear my tights and tshirt, the only clothes that fit, and be the star of the show.

Blac Chyna on the other hand, with an 8 month old baby has left Rob’s house and stays online sending and posting pictures and videos of her and her new lovers. Laying up in the bed looking freshly f**k*d and grinning, posing in party clothes, swimsuits and at least half naked. All the dudes are wearing the same robe, Rob’s according to him, merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream. On that note, has anyone seen that baby?

Who is Rob Kardashian?

Rob is crying online everyday about all the men Blac Chyna is currently having sex with, whom she flaunts online. He is crying about all the money he spent on fixing her post-baby body, $100,000. Umm, excuse me, but what may I ask was done? Body transplant?! Over half a million on jewelry. Lamborghini, and on and on the list goes. Was someone digging for gold? Well gold is so 2010. You need to do like Chyna and dig for a Rob.

But most importantly Rob is just a kid raised with a silver spoon down his throat, whose mom hustled and pimped her family into crazy money. Let’s not forget that it was Kim’s porn debut, I mean, “leaked” sex tape that propelled the family to fame and fortune. All they do is hustle and it ain’t always pretty. Rob literally didn’t even have to show up, and he still gets those checks, which he can turn around and spend millions on a self-proclaimed slut in mesh and spandex. Mama should be proud. Sluts, porn and pimps. Check check and check.

Blac Chyna took Rob to the bank and played him like the fool that he is. We aren’t saying that she is the sharpest tool in the shed, because clearly marrying him would have secured her position in oh so many ways. But she has managed to accumulate some jewelry which she can sell, an improved body which she can sell, and now we know her name. Which she can sell. Not bad girl. Not bad.


Rock

Author: Rock

The eternal sisterhood warrior, Rock motivates women all over the world to stand up and roar. She's Editor-in-Chief at Hold My Lipstick where she gives the authors and the crazies as much rope as they need to swing far off the edge...she knows they always make it back home intact.