“If it isn’t even trying to run away, I don’t want it”. Wise words from an otherwise plain man. There I was indulging in one of my favorite pastimes, drinking a sexy cocktail in a sexy bar and chatting to a friend. He and I looked around the bar checking out the people and talking about them, just for fun. Anonymity breeds boldness so we were brutal in rating them on looks and style. You know me, picky as hell so I stayed true to form and found no one attractive. But as we made up stories about the couples, some looking fresh and new, others seasoned if not bored, I confirmed a theory that I have long had: Men love the chase for a woman who is hard to get.
The Chase for these 3 Women is Everything
The Tough Chick
Roll your eyes if you want to, but take it from me: Some men love the abuse. I don’t mean actual abuse, but they are drawn to a tough woman who takes no bs and isn’t winning any congeniality awards. Just like that old Shakira song, she’s crazy but he likes it. And if he gets too comfortable she’s quick to cut him off just like Cardi B’s Bodak Yellow. She isn’t mean, she is just focused on her work and her life and has no time or desire to stroke his ego. At the same time she loves men so she is naturally inspiring to them to raise their level in their own work and life. Everybody wins.
Flirting is a skill. Not everyone can do it well. But the woman who can flirt has unlimited power to get what she wants. Including a dedicated man. She talks a good game, and is sexy AF, but she isn’t giving up the goods. Years could pass by and she still isn’t giving it to you, the benefactor of her flirtations. She remains flirty and intriguing because the men know that the goods are lingering right there beneath the surface, but always just out of reach. Her goal isn’t to get you riled up, that is simply the way she is. She couldn’t hide her sex appeal in a clown wig and a potato sack. She drives men crazy.
The Smart Girl
She never goes out of style. Her brain is her deadliest weapon. She puts a spell on men with her conversation because she is crazy smart, interesting, and a master of words. Men lay at her feet just to talk to her. Her converstion inspries them to think, challenges their points of view, helps them through personal and professional crises. The best part? She is too smart to chase after a man or to settle for some jerk. She knows that the only man worth giving up the goods to is the man who is dedicated to her, and so she gives herself only to such a man. Clearly we know that men don’t dedicate themselves to too many women in a lifetime, so her lovers are few and far between, and for that her stock is all the way up. A man would slap his mama for this chick.
Taking Back Our Power
Now yours truly is a master in this hard to get category. Sure there has been the odd one or two for whom I fell into quick foolery, but I am sure I had bumped my head or something. So no, they were not great, I was just broken at the time. Besides those isolated uncharacteristic “cool girl” slips, I ain’t easy honey. In fact, I am hella hard to get with, because I am not impressed with much. Riches? Not impressed. Expensive cars, houses, jewelry, vacations? Not impressed. That’s easy, literally anyone can have them. To make it past “hello” with me your whole aura and demeanor have to scream intelligent, connected – as in eye contact and stimulating conversation – and strong character – as in boss. Then we can talk.
This is hard to find, especially in today’s social media brain and soul blitz where communication takes place in bulk and no one really cares about anything or anyone. We can’t even take a walk or share a meal without some idiot looking at their phone. Really? I digress…
Oh yeah, but what has remained true is that guys don’t want the easy girls. Sure they will hump and dump you, but that isn’t desire is it darling? No, it’s just an itch which you scratched for them. They don’t want you! They want the tough chicks, the women who take no shit and make no apologies. Those are the girls who get the devotion, the committment, whatever they want.
Ladies do not despair, there are so many more types of women who present the chase enough for the man to swear undying love and fall to her bidding. It is pretty easy, as long as you aren’t.