The 12 Rules of Adulting

The 12 Rules of Adulting:

  1. You should know the exact number of beverages you need to drink before you make a total dick of yourself or before you try to have sex with your boss.
  2. You have at least once said “in my day” when traveling on public transportation in terms of too many zombie people looking at their phones or men not giving up seats to old ladies (congratulations you have finally passed that test).
  3. You understand the meaning of the term “Discotheque” although you cannot remember the last time you danced in a public place that was not at a wedding and now everyone is divorced already.
  4. You know who Milly Vanilli are without having to ask the Google – and continue to actively participate in trivia nights without your phone.
  5. You remember when Harrison Ford was hot enough to shag. Because you wanted to shag him.
  6. The common blow job bores the shit out of you, because the tables have turned and now the measure of a great lover is now how hard will you come on his face.
  7. You begin to throw away everything that does not “give you joy” including people. (sad face)
  8. You prefer to Brainstorm and draw mind maps to Kanban boards. Did I even spell Kanban right? By the way what is a SCRUM and why are we always taking about football and or misspelled foreskin these days?
  9. You still consider Wasabi an exotic food.
  10. You finally understand what the # key is for and it’s unlimited use outside of the conference call dial in.
  11. That feeling of when you got photos back from processing, it was like Christmas – those were the days.
  12. You love and understand what being FUNDAMENTALLY bored actually means and know that you are the final generation to know this – how incredibly sad.

all of that and a partridge in a pear tree.

Welcome to being an awesome adult.
Is it still ok to say awesome? Rad, Groovy – all of the above?


Author: Scarlett

Scarlett is naughty by nature! She brings to life the ultimate girlfriend experience and loves to overshare. Behind the refined and polished exterior is one wild girl looking for love and life with just the right amount of crazy.