Swipe 2, Date 2 – The Professor
To describe this man in 25 words or less is easy.
He was classically tall, dark and handsome.
As a bonus he was a professor of mathematics. He had an “oriental” background which gave him a permanent tan in his pictures and I liked what I saw. Yummy…
We started chatting along the following lines (his answers):
Q: Describe your perfect evening.
A: A beautiful woman = You, an open fire and bottle of well rounded, velvety smooth, strong red wine.
Q: Favorite Books?
A: The crime genre (which I also love!!! Perfect).
Q: Favorite Food?
A: Homemade baked desserts.
I mean, I, the Scarlett, was sold.
I was already imagining my life having intellectual conversations followed by passionate lovemaking in a woodland cabin exquisitely furnished with a magnificent view over the alps and a proper bear skin rug. We would follow this with wine and fresh New York style cheesecake fed to me whilst naked – me looking like a Victoria secret angel with slightly blushed cheeks evidencing my recent orgasm, his hair tussled and slightly out of its normal perfect state. I was so into this fantasy that I could actually see the beige cashmere sweaters with matching blankets, and me curled up on his chiseled chest reading the latest Jeffery Deaver thriller whilst it snowed outside… it could have been so wonderful.
Then we decided it was time to meet because we felt we had created enough anticipation. Because we were educated and well-mannered it would only be civilized to meet in a posh city center café for coffee, no?
No alcohol or poor evening lighting to diminish the initial coming together or 2 great intellectual and passionate powers.
OMG! I could not have been more wrong – this was the longest most awkward 45 minutes of my entire existence. And I worked as a corporate accountant for many years so I truly understand the definition of mind-numbing boredom and socially awkward situations. Trust me!
Who comes for a coffee date and when asked, “How are you?”, replies “Pretty bad, my friend just died in a car accident last night”. Dude, cancel the damn date! In all seriousness, this was his opening. As impossible as it seems, it got worse from there. Yup, worse than dead friend.
The worst part? He then proceeded to delete me before I even had the chance to delete him, WT actual F?
So, we are not up to the sweaty details yet….
These are coming. Soon I will be telling you about Tinder Franz, the man who had 114 Tinder Hook Ups, before he found his latest victim (yup Scarlett).
Want more? Well you have to wait… or tell me your tinder stories below.