Nobody F**** Grandpa – Unless he’s Paying the Rent

“Nobody wants to fuck grandma’s pussy.” Probably the most shocking words to come out of Samantha’s mouth from Sex and the City. She said this with the most seriousness when she found that one gray pubic hair. Well fellas, the same applies to you. Nobody wants to fuck grandpa, unless it’s freaking worth it.

There is a difference between a man slightly up there in age who looks good and has a nice body, and…grandpa. Pops is just old. I’m not trying to be mean but sagging ass and balls are freaking gross. There are lots of young girls walking around on grandpa’s arm, kissing his cold wrinkled mouth, and even worse…barf, having sex with him. I know what’s going on here. He is paying the rent. He better be.

I can’t be objective here because you all know I have young boy fever. Yes, Gigi likes them between 22 and 26. Any older and that’s a man who needs to start thinking about settling down. And it ain’t gonna be with me, so he gets cut loose before that 27th birthday.

Back to the old dudes. They do serve a purpose or two such as…well…ok, they serve one purpose, and that is MONEY. Here is why you should not fuck grandpa for less than the rent.


A few years ago I messed around with a grandpa. Even from the inside things looked the same. I would ask myself “What is going on?” He had a few kids and a few ex-wives and lots of divorce drama. With me he had robbed the cradle’s cradle.

I lived with him for a few months and dealt with his kids and his drama. He played a good victim role and I took on way too much of his baggage, like strategizing with him on how to battle his latest ex. It was exhausting. He would say things like:

“Would you hang around me if I didn’t have money?” My thoughts would be “What do you think dummy?”, and

“I will take care of you as long as I live.” To which I would think “Really bitch? So as soon as you kick the bucket I’m kicked out of the house with just the clothes on my back? Haha, try again.” One day I realized he was trying to play mind games with me and get me to waste my good good youth on his nasty ass with no security whatsoever. Pops bye!


You can’t escape it. When people see young chicks with old dicks they immediately know it’s for the money. If by some random impossibility you are hanging with grandpa for some other reason, it won’t matter, you will NEVER convince anyone of that. So if we think you are a gold digger you might as well come up with some bling. But like I said, not cheap popcorn bling, the real deal, like rent or mortgage. Yours! Not just living in his house.


He really is. I don’t care what you say. Just as Samantha knew the deal with her pubic grays, we know the deal with grandpa. Hanging ass and extra wrinkled balls all come with the territory of grandpa, not to mention the gray pubes. NOBODY WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH THAT! What do we want? A long strong firm dick fueled by passion only the young can generate. Strong back to hold us up and penetrate us in every way making our bodies scream and erupt under the spell of vitality and youth. Any questions?

If you are going to go to the geriatric side of town then make it worthwhile. You are his dream. His chances of dying on top of you or shortly thereafter are very high. Talk about going out with a bang. Insist on something substantial for such services, it will make the memory much more digestible. Otherwise just leave grandpa alone! Grandma is looking for him anyway.


Author: Gigi

Gigi is a financial wiz dominating the corporate world by day and a naughty girl dating in one of the world's greatest cities by night. Enjoy as she brings you along for a wild ride through the Pink Room.