You Can’t Spend the Night – Here’s Why

I hear these chicks crying all the time about how cool the guy is, how awesome the sex is, and how everything would be so perfect if they could fix one little thing. That one little thing being, that the guy would let them spend the night. Let’s take a moment for this to sink in properly. Honey, I know you already know that if you can’t spend the night, it’s because he’s just not that into you. Now I’ll take it a few steps further and tell you why you will never spend the night at lover boy’s place.

  1. Once a man comes it’s done

I know, it’s crass but true. The orgasm is a beautiful thing. It somehow manages to cause our brains and bodies to explode and have us quivering and speaking in tongues for a few blissful seconds. We lose control of our bodies and can end up doing a variety of very unattractive and unladylike things all in delicious surrender. Then the craziest thing happens. A thing that is scary and even diabolical: We stop giving a shit about the person who helped to bring about the orgasm. It’s as if all of the care and desire we had for them which caused us to bring them to the bed in the first place, just rushes out of our system along with the sex juice.

Now clearly if we are with bae this is not the case. Some other hormone kicks in and we might want to cuddle or something like that. But if you can’t spend the night, you aren’t bae!

  1. You’re not Bae

Don’t be mad at me for stating the obvious. We all know when a guy is into us. And we have all given up the nookie to some dude who wasn’t. You went in legs and eyes wide open, and it’s a good thing you did because you needed those eyes to see your way out the door afterwards. What do you expect if you’re not bae? Do you really expect a forehead kiss and a snuggle?

Guys know when they are with a dumb chick who is going to continue giving up the goods even though he kicks her out the door right afterwards every time. And they like you for what you are worth. Babe, get smart, move on.

  1. You take up too much space in the bed

No offense, but sleep is often better when you can spread yourself all over the bed, breathe with your mouth open and toss and turn without bumping into someone else. Why you mad? Go home and enjoy the same delight.


Dang. What are we talking about here? How many more posts do we have to write for you to get the picture? Move on. I know it hurts. But move on. You’ll find someone worthy once you boss up and start demanding respect. Just MOVE ON! Because you can’t spend the night at this jerk’s house. This really is the ultimate reason darlings. And that’s all there is, there is nothing more.

How much more crying and complaining are you willing to do before you hightail it out of there? It is the ultimate disrespect for a guy to kick you out after you have had sex. The first time it happens perhaps you are surprised, but lord, it should NEVER happen again. And I would bet a lot of money that some of you reading this are all caught up in this shameful trap. Do like in the movie chick and Get out!

This has NEVER happened to me and I can confidently say that it never will because my brain overrides my vagina every single time, and a guy has to be all into me before he can get this good good. My milkshake not only brings but keeps them boys in the yard. I can teach you, but I’d have to charge.


Author: Vic

The eternal sisterhood warrior, Vic motivates women all over the world to stand up and roar. She's Editor-in-Chief at Hold My Lipstick where she gives the authors and the crazies as much rope as they need to swing far off the edge...she knows they always make it back home intact.